Well – if you haven’t noticed, I am not a blogger!   It has been a long time since I have posted.   We have been quite busy.  In a nut shell – Paul is now cancer free (Praise God!), we are quickly moving into busy, normal life mode.  We have begun to workout at the YMCA – loving it.  Feels good to be making a conscious effort to be healthy!   We have begun to be more social – loving that too!  Paul and I are going on a date this Friday!

Paul goes to the oncologist Friday for a check-up.  He has a lung condition as a result of one of his chemo meds.  This will be monitored – we are hopeful.  He looks so much healthier!  His hair is growing back in, he has a spring to his step and way more smiles on his face.  He has a long way to go – tired a lot, still not sleeping well…but I am so thankful for my husband and where he is.

We are anticipating a great summer!  After 2 years of putting life on hold – we are taking this summer to celebrate LIFE!  Our summer starts off with a trip to the beach with Paul’s family!  We are counting down the days!  We will also be visiting with my family and the summer will end with a trip to Disney!  I love that Disney’s theme this year is “What Will You Celebrate?”  We are definitely celebrating LIFE!!!

The Dazet house has been a a whirl of crazy busyness.  I have been trying to bake a few things and get the menu in order for Christmas dinner.  As soon as I think I have everything I need, I realize I have forgotten something and it’s back to the grocery.  Today it is another run to Sams Club.  Not looking forward to that.  At least I have finished my Christmas shopping and have it mostly wrapped!

Yesterday Paul had his CT Scan and Pulmonary Function Test.  We will get the results of these when we go in for chemo on Monday.  He has had a few bad days and his night sweats have returned.  This causes much added stress as we wonder what could be causing this to recur.  I pray he starts to feel better.

Today my family will celebrate Christmas.  I will miss being apart of this special time and hope they all have a great time.  We are trying to sync up our computers web cam’s so we may be able to be together across the miles.  I am hoping to get to do this.

This time of year seems to intensify the sorrowful times in our lives.  The Dazet house is no exception to the pain of loss.  Paul’s Grandma Phyllis passed away through the night Sunday.  Meme and Papa are headed to Richmond, VA for the funeral.  We will miss seeing them this holiday, but know they are where they need to be.  We will celebrate Christ’s birth with the 5 of us and Paul’s brother Mark.  Paul’s other brother Neil and wife, Genevieve, will drive in late on Dec 26th.  We will enjoy having part of our family around for the holiday.

My hope for you is that in the midst of the crazy busyness that you might (re)discover the significance of Christ’s birth as you enjoy the holidays with family and friends.  Merry Christmas to you!!!

Wow, what a weekend!  You know how some days life gets so crazy and you think – it can’t get any worse, can it?”   Well- I guess if you would have asked me that Saturday morning I would have said life sucks right now.  But, it is Monday, and I am seeing things a little clearer (I think).  I woke up Saturday morning to a broken refrigerator and if I wasn’t so tired Friday evening, I may have noticed it wasn’t working when I went to pour Micah some milk at dinner and it wasn’t very cold.  I also woke up Saturday morning to find that Paul was very sick and in a tremendous amount of pain.  So, I am thinking, I can’t tell him what is going on.  So I went about the normal morning getting breakfast fixed so that Paul could take his meds.  After Paul was settled into bed I let him in on our dilemma, and he told me to use my best judgment in purchasing a new one – so Jacob and I headed to Sears.  On our way to Sears Jacob says, “This day isn’t turning out the way I thought it would.”  I said no it’s not – but he was a real help if only for the support of having someone there with me as I made such a huge purchase.  We went ahead and purchased a stove also.  If you didn’t have the pleasure of seeing my old stove (a double oven) I am so sorry – not really!   The other oven worked so poorly (I won’t bore you with those details).  I am so thankful for my new appliances.  Now that my kitchen challenges are under control, I can focus on what is most important – that is caring for Paul.  Even through the stressful times of this weekend – God is so good!  I am blessed!  (Please pray for Micah as well – he seems to be developing a cold as well).  Thank you!

I am doing some laundry and putting up some Christmas decorations.  Paul just left to run to the church before stopping in at the Hope Center for the dreaded Neulasta shot.   We were able to visit family for Thanksgiving.  That was nice.  We surprised mom – she cried.  She had all of her kiddies home for the holidays.  Paul was feeling great this past weekend for the teachings.  It was great to see the energy and enthusiasm in which he presented the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth as we began the Advent Season.  We also enjoyed the day at home watching football and relaxing.  It was a good holiday weekend, but for one thing.  My brother is struggling right now and it is tearing me up inside to see him in such pain.  Please pray for him – his name is Randy.  It is hard to understand what drives people to do what they do and seem to have no remorse for it.  It makes me sad.

As we journey into the holiday season my thoughts are focused on loving others and meeting their needs.  Our goal as a family is to buy 2 gifts instead of 3 and use the money we would have spent to help someone in need.  I am anxious to see what my kids choose.  I pray that it challenges them to be more selfless and a lot more loving.  In the midst of the sorrow around us, I truly feel that God is doing some mighty things. I am excited for the stories of redemption that are bound to pour in.  Lets be His hands and feet this holiday season!

I just got the kids on the bus, Paul is “napping”, after a rough nights sleep and Micah is with Meme & Papa.  The house is peaceful.  I enjoy these moments.  It allows me to reflect on life, family, friends…  I am thankful for them all.  Theoretically, this should be a better day for Paul.  I hope so.  We are planning to go birthday shopping for Micah (Nov 19th) and Jacob (Nov 24th).  I am looking forward to spending some time with Paul today.  You may be thinking, he is home most of the time and you spend lots of time together – and this is true.  But, I mean quality time in which Paul is feeling well enough to laugh and forget (if only for a brief time) some of our current struggles.

We have a busy weekend coming up.  Paul will be teaching at all three services.  Saturday morning he will be honored at a breakfast at the Dutch House (we have to be there at 8am!).  Hopefully the remainder of time will be spent resting before we begin round #4 of chemo on Monday.

We are currently meeting with an attorney, continuing the process towards the appeal of Paul’s previous insurance.  Whether we win the appeal or not, I am at peace with it.  I am confident in one thing – God has a plan and He is working it out – my job is to not get in His way!  I feel much more peace allowing Him full charge of things.

Some of my free moments have been spent watching a couple of Jane Austen movies – Mansfield Park and Pride and Prejudice (again!).  I was able to watch the BBC version, which follows the novels so well.  They were a pleasant escape.  I am going to have to pick up another of her novels – I like to read the book before watching the movie.

The house is quiet right now.  Rebecca and Jacob are at school, Micah and Paul are napping.  I tried to nap, but between a phone call and my pounding head – it’s not happening.  As I am typing, I am looking out my back patio at the beautiful fall foliage.  There is something about the change of seasons  that I really enjoy.  I particularly like the bright colors, snuggling in a throw reading a good book, sipping coffee, a bowl of soup…

As the season changes, I am reflecting on the changes that are taking place in our lives.   It is so hard to handle that Paul has made it through 2 rounds of chemo and that we have 10 more to go.  I keep thinking – if we can just make it through fall, then winter and onto spring – we will be through this difficult time in our lives.  This morning as Micah was watching Winnie the Pooh I happened to overhear part of the episode – Cookies were being made and Tigger wanted to eat them now.  The kangaroo says, “you must wait until the big hand is on the 4, then they will be done. ” Tigger says, “that’s easy” -and he takes the clock and moves it forward to the 4.  The kangaroo says, “Tigger, you can’t hurry time.  If you don’t allow them to cook all the way they won’t turn out right.”    I guess that must be my lesson to learn in this season of our lives.  I can’t hurry time – Paul’s healing is a day to day, step by step kind of thing and I must be patient.   I never could have imagined what it would be like to see my husband go through this.  It is so hard.  I am praying that I can find joy in each day and be an encouragement to my family daily as we travel this road.

Well, I will stop rambling…for now.

Today I traveled part way to pick up Micah.  I was anxious to see him after 1 week of him being gone.  I am thankful to my family for all there help during this time in our lives.  We are all happy to be together again.

Today was a rough day for Paul.  He just doesn’t have the energy he once had.  Anyone who knows Paul knows that he tends to be on the hyper side, so seeing him so fatigued is hard.   I keep telling him he must rest, that the fatigue is normal.  This is part of the process of healing.

I was very proud of him today.  He recognized that he was having a rough morning and chose to rest instead of forcing himself to get up and go in to the office.  I am hoping he is realizing that the fatigue he is feeling is his bodies way of telling him he must rest.

It was great to see him teach this weekend, though in all honesty, I worry that he will over do it.  Before church we discussed how he must rest between services and avoid a lot of direct contact; and I have to be honest, he didn’t listen to me very well.

Several people have asked me how I am holding up in the midst of all that is going on in our life.  I guess I would have to say that I am trying very hard to just live in the moment, so to speak.  Each day has its own set of challenges, so my goal each day is to meet the needs of the moment.  So far this philosophy seems to be working.  Don’t get me wrong, some days aren’t the greatest, but they are all still good.  God continues to reveal himself to us.  And through his people we continue to be encouraged, loved and prayed for.  We are so very thankful and blessed.

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, reading a few blogs, trying to encourage Jacob that he is well enough to go to school and beginning to reflect on the day ahead.

Today I will be meeting my mom and sister part way to arrange a drop off.  Mom is going to keep Micah this week.  Thanks mom!  With Paul starting chemo, we felt like this would be a good week to have some extra help- especially  since we won’t know how Paul will react to treatments.  I am going to miss Micah – I thank God for him – he brings so much joy to our home.

If Paul is feeling well enough, he will go in to the office today and yes – even drive him self there.  You might think this is no big deal, but for the last 6 weeks he has not been able to drive due to his surgery.  I have been his chauffeur.  He also has been sitting in the back seat, because of the air bag.  No more suspended driving privileges!

Today I plan to drop off Micah, pick up a letter from Paul’s doctor (I pray it is ready) so we can officially begin the appeal process for insurance, drop Becca off at school to work on a group project and pick her up after school after her Centerfold meeting (school newspaper)….Not sure what else will be added to the list – that’s okay though!

Tomorrow is chemo treatment #1.  Am I a little scared about this?  Of course.  Paul has to have the first two treatments through an IV in his hands.  My prayer is that it goes well and that his side effects are manageable.

Gotta run and allow my teenager a few minutes on the computer to check her facebook account – then its off to embrace the day!!!

I just finished an excellent book, “Jesus Wants To Save Christians” by Rob Bell and Don Golden

In fact, I enjoyed it so much, that I am anxious to reread it and highlight/take notes. Chapter one begins with the Exodus story. The Israelites are being oppressed and God hears their cry. God takes action and saves His people from bondage. As you continue reading through the Bible this pattern of going our own way and redemption occurs repeatedly. I could get frustrated with the Israelites and ask, “What’s the deal, why the continual screw ups?”.  The Exodus story is my/our story – we are continually unfaithful.  Next, you might ask, “Why does God continue to redeem?”.  For starters, I believe simply out of love for His people.  Even deeper, I believe He wants to teach us that we are His church collectively and individually.  In learning this we will be able to understand better how to actively be His hands/feet.

Some questions for you on your journey – Are you being oppressed?,  Crying out for help?,  Helping those who are being oppressed? , Or are you sitting back believing that you have your ticket, you go to church each week, you read your Bible occasionally, you pray most of the time, you tithe more than _______, your on your way and anyways, there are others who are better equipped to do the hands and feet kind of work?   Wherever you find yourself on this journey, God is calling out asking,  Can you hear the cries of the oppressed?   If so, “Are you willing to take action – get your hands and feet dirty?

There you go – I warned you that these were ramblings – my mind is swirling with these thoughts.  Why not pick up a copy of this book and join the conversation.  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

The song “Praise You in the Storm” has been playing over in my mind since last week. So I thought that maybe I should journal my thoughts on some things I am thankful for in the midst of our storm:

1. I praise God for Peace -as many of you know Paul’s insurance has been canceled. We got the letter last Monday. What a devastating blow that was. It took us several days to work through what this meant to us. We of course are going to appeal the decision; But I think the most important thing we came to realize is that it doesn’t matter whether we have the insurance or not. The most important thing is that Paul gets his treatments. So we will move forward, in the midst of uncertainty, on faith alone. And you know what – I’m at peace with that decision! Thank you God!!!
2. Paul shared with me on Monday that he received an email on facebook from a childhood friend. She said she looked at the Lakota class of 87′ on facebook and Paul was the only person she felt compelled to contact. This may sound strange upon first reading, and I may have been a little concerned if she hadn’t also emailed me I received an email from her Tuesday morning. Almost immediately I felt lead to explain our situation to her with the insurance being dropped (we had not shared this with anyone yet). You see Jill works for the American Cancer Society. She has a 10 year old child who is a 9 year cancer survivor. Is the relationship we are building with Jill a coincidence, or an opportunity once again for God to use His people to carry out His will?   – I believe it is the latter.  Jill hooked us up with the ACS patient navigator for this area (Saundra) I called her on Thursday or Friday? – She was so helpful and encouraging – we are excited for the help/guidance the American Cancer Society (ACS) will be providing – thank you Jill and Saundra!!! and Most important – thank you God!!!
3. On Thursday I spoke with Paul’s Primary Care Physician, and he couldn’t believe what was happening.  He feels we definitely have a case and is preparing Paul’s medical records for us.  Once we get the records (hopefully today) we will be calling an Insurance Specialist with the ACS – thanks again to Jill and Saundra – we would not have known this was a possibility with out these two ladies!!!  Praise be to God!!!
4. This praise may sound small to some, but to me it just shows the extent in which God cares.  On Thursday evening I was feeling pretty exhausted and I shared with my family that I was just not up for making a dessert, I didn’t even have ice cream to offer – (anyone who knows us well would think that was nearly impossible!!!).  Around 7:30 Mike Roberts dropped by to spend some time with Paul, then around 8pm someone else knocked at the door – i’m thinking – who could this be?   I open the door and see Jennie Couchenour standing there with vanilla ice cream and homemade (warm) apple crisp.  Wow – God sent us an angel bearing dessert – thank you so much Jennie – it was absolutely delicious!!! More kudos to God!!!!
5. On Friday we visited the Oncologist.  We had to discuss our options for moving forward with treatment without insurance.  Several suggestions were made -treatment at a hospital which doesn’t refuse treatment for patients without insurance, possibility of applying to the pharmaceutical companies for free drugs and different programs through the American Cancer Society.  It feels good to have several options that might work – thank you God – I praise you!
6. Of course we are always thankful to our family and friends.  I can not imagine how we would be handling life without the love, support, encouragement, and prayers we continually receive from you.  We love you all and thank God for you!!!!